Weaving Peer Support into the Fabric of First Responder Lives

If you’re a leader within your organization or at all responsible for the well being of your people, this message is for you. 

The concept of peer support in the emergency services isn't new, but it needs to evolve. It can no longer be a reactive measure, something we pull out of the toolbox after a critical incident or when a colleague is visibly struggling. Instead, peer support needs to be woven into the very fabric of daily life for first responders and, critically, for their families.

We’re Ignoring Our Responsibility.

I’ll start with the facts. 5.3% of the US population has thought about ending their life. Those numbers for emergency responders are drastically higher:

Firefighters: 46.8%

Police: 23% - 25%

EMS Providers: 37%

For too long, the culture has dictated a "tough it out" mentality, a belief that what happens on duty should stay on duty. 

“Just don’t talk about it.” 

“It gets better over time.” 

“You’ll get used to it.” 

“You shouldn't expose your family to any of this.”

These are outright lies that we’ve been telling ourselves and have been proven to be ineffective means of protecting ourselves and our loved ones. 

There is a cumulative toll of repeated exposure to traumatic events that must be relieved before a breaking point. Humans can handle emotions like a rising and falling tide. However, with compounding traumatic events its high tide all of the time. 

It's time we acknowledge and address the profound impact these experiences have, not just on our own people, but on their families as well.

Some relative and unfortunate truths are that with service as an emergency responder comes psychological trauma. And with compounding psychological traumas, depression can set in. And that the key drivers of suicidal ideations are untreated depression and hoplessness. Followed by the feeling of being alone in that struggle. 

The Illusion of "Leaving it at Work"

The idea of leaving trauma at the station or at the scene is, for most, an impossible dream. Our brains don't have an "off-duty" switch when it comes to processing intense experiences. The images, the sounds, the emotions – they linger. They seep into our thoughts, our dreams, and our interactions at home. To pretend otherwise is to do a disservice to the complex human experience of trauma.

Studies performed on the effects of experiencing these issues show that men usually become irritable and angry, and women develop a feeling of sadness. Either of these situations can have a devastating impact on the family relationships for our people that we as leaders rely on to help them decompress from the job. Our responsibility for taking care of them is not confined by their shift hours. 

When a first responder walks through their front door after a particularly harrowing shift, they don't magically shed the weight of what they've witnessed. They carry it, often unconsciously, into their interactions with their spouses, children, and friends. This can manifest as irritability, withdrawal, difficulty sleeping, or a general sense of unease.

Secondary Trauma Exposure: The Unseen Burden on Families

This is where the concept of "secondary trauma exposure" becomes vital. Our loved ones, while not directly present at the scene, bear witness to the aftermath. They see and are impacted by the exhaustion, the quiet struggles, the changes in mood, and sometimes they even hear the stories that, however censored, paint a vivid picture of the horrors their loved one faces.

Imagine a child who notices their parent is more withdrawn, or a spouse who grapples with the emotional distance that sometimes comes with the job. These experiences can be profoundly impactful, leading to their own forms of stress, anxiety, and even trauma. Our families are our anchors, our safe harbors, our relief and they deserve support in navigating the turbulent waters that sometimes come with loving a first responder.

Another fact that hits home for our first responders who are also parents is that teen suicide has increased dramatically by 62% since 2007. This population of our extended “work family” needs our focused support and care more now than ever in the past.

Weaving Peer Support into Daily Life

So, how do we integrate peer support so deeply that it becomes an inherent part of the first responder experience, both on and off duty?

• Proactive, Not Reactive: Regular, informal check-ins should become the norm. This isn't about mandatory therapy sessions, but about creating an environment where open communication is encouraged and normalized. Leaders, supervisors, and peers should be trained to recognize subtle signs of distress and to initiate a supportive response.

• Family-Focused Initiatives: Peer support shouldn't stop at the first responder. We need programs and resources specifically designed for spouses, children and loved ones. This could include support groups for first responder families, educational workshops on the impact of the job, or even social events that foster a sense of community and shared understanding among families.

• Accessible Resources: Information about peer support, mental health professionals, and other resources needs to be readily available and frequently disseminated. This means not just posting a flyer on a bulletin board, but actively discussing these resources during briefings, training sessions, and informal gatherings.

• Breaking the Stigma: The biggest hurdle is often the stigma associated with seeking help. We need to continuously reinforce the message that reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. This culture shift starts at the top, with leadership modeling healthy coping mechanisms and openly discussing their own experiences when appropriate.

• Integrating into Training: From the moment a recruit enters the academy, the importance of peer support and mental well-being should be a core component of their training. This sets the expectation early on that self-care and mutual support are integral to a sustainable career in emergency services.

Imagine a future where a spouse of a first responder in your organization feels just as comfortable reaching out to a peer support network for families as the first responder themselves. Imagine a culture where a casual conversation during shift change naturally leads to a colleague offering support, without judgment.

The high exposure rate to traumatic events is an undeniable reality of emergency services. We can no longer afford to hide behind outdated mentalities that demand emotional suppression. By proactively weaving peer support into the fabric of daily life for both first responders and their families, we can build a more resilient, healthier, and ultimately, more effective emergency services community. It's an investment in our most valuable asset: our people.

Take the next right step. 

If you’re confused on how you as a leader can tackle these responsibilities of caring for your people and your people’s people, you’re not alone. There is no boxed program that can be implemented into your organization and solve all of the issues at hand. Support needs to be customized and woven into the fabric of the lives that your people live and the community that they live in.

Reach out to us at B1C. We can guide you through the confusion and help you take the next right steps.

“Don’t harm yourself. We are all here.”

This article was written by Andrew Ruiz, Firefighter/Paramedic